How To Stop Overthinking

Very often we are too afraid of trying something new or try something that we dream of or that we desperately want due to the fear of failing. There is a saying that goes: “Fear kills far more dreams than failure ever will.” Very often the fear comes from what others may think of us. “What will my friends think?” or “What will my family say?”  Gary Vaynerchuk is very persistent on this matter (although his method is often in a crude manner, he doesn’t beat about the bush).

The place where this fear often originates from is overthinking something too much. I’m not saying don’t think at all, but at some point you just need to start the shift from the ‘thinking phase’ to taking action and moving over to the ‘doing phase’. Overthinking doesn’t only waste time, but it also lets doubt creep into your thoughts. It’s not always something that you can do on your own, but many books that you can read about how to change your mindset into positive thinking. This is also something that you need to practice. Your brain is like a muscle. Ronnie Coleman didn’t decide that he wanted to be a bodybuilder and he was one instantly, end of story. Take a look at a small portion of what Ronnie Coleman had to do to reach the highest of of his career. In the same way, you need to practice to change your thoughts on a daily basis to have a more positive mindset.

Destructive Thought Patterns

Destructive thought patterns are often our worst enemy. One moment of saying  or doing something at a certain point which might not have been the best thing to say or do at the time could leave you feeling bad or embarrassed. That’s life, and it happens to everyone at some point. Hours or days later you might think that everyone who heard what you said or saw what you did is still thinking about that moment and you put yourself in a ‘petty hole’ where you feel embarrassed and sorry for yourself. the truth of the matter in fact is the exact opposite. They might remember everything else your said or did at that time, or that silly mistake might be the reason they remember something important. Even if they do remember the mistake, you can ease your thoughts knowing that they have done silly things too. Nobody is perfect.

As with all habits (especially brewing the bad ones), it might be hard to get into a new habit. With good practice, you can train your brain into getting use to the new habits. There are a few things that you can look out for in order to break the bad habits:

You could be overthinking something without noticing that you’re doing it, because it has become such a habit, you almost do it automatiacally. Start paying attention to the way you think so you can become aware of the problem.

When you’re re-playing events in your mind over and over, or worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive. Thinking is only helpful when you can actually do something about it and it leads to positive action.

Dwelling on your negative thoughts isn’t helpful, looking for solutions however, is. If it’s something you have some control over, consider how you can prevent the problem or challenge yourself to identify five potential solutions.

If it’s something you have no control over — like a natural disaster — think about the strategies you can use to cope with it. Focus on the things you can control, like your attitude and your effort.

It’s easy to get carried away with negative thoughts. So before you decide in your head that calling in sick is going to get you fired, or that missing one deadline will cause you to become homeless, you should realise that your thoughts may be exaggeratedly negative.

Remember that your emotions will interfere with your ability to look at situations objectively. There is a scientific fact that states: When your emotions are running high, your ability to think clearly is impaired. Take a step back and look at the evidence. What evidence do you have that your thought is true? What evidence do you have that your thought isn’t true?

Stewing on your problems in your mind for long periods of time isn’t productive, however, brief reflection can be helpful. Thinking about how you could do things differently or recognising potential pitfalls to your plan, could help you perform better in the future.

Incorporate 20 minutes of “thinking time” into your daily schedule. During that time period let yourself worry, ruminate, or mull over whatever you want.

When your time is up, do something that mentally forces you to think of something else. Should you start overthinking things outside of your scheduled thinking time, simply remind yourself that you’ll need to wait until your “thinking time” to address those issues in your mind.

It’s impossible to redo yesterday and it’s senseless worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Mindfulness will help you become more aware of the here and now.

Just like any other skill, mindfulness takes practice, and over time, it can decrease your overthinking. There are classes, books, apps, courses, and videos available to help you learn skills to be more mindful.

Telling yourself to stop thinking about something will backfire. The more you force your brain to prevent a thought from entering, the more likely it is to keep popping up.

Change the channel in your brain by changing your activity. Exercise, engage in conversation on a completely different subject, or work on a project that distracts you. Doing something different will put an end to the barrage of negative thoughts.

Paying attention to the way you think can help you become more aware of your bad mental habits. With practice, you can train your brain to think differently. Over time, building healthier habits will help you build the mental muscle you need to become mentally stronger.

Read the original article on Inc.. Copyright 2017. Follow Inc. on Twitter.